Castle On the Hill
by NachoNachoMan1992
Summary: Draco Malfoy has always been a bully and a coward. But one night Draco decides to be brave and do the right thing saving Hermione's life. Draco Malfoy has a lot of secrets and Hermione Granger realises that his deepest, darkest one is that he has always been in love with her. Deathly Hallows Dramione. AU if Malfoy had defected during DH.
1. Prisoner

**AN** : Hey guys! This is just going to be a fairly short 3 part piece as a little bit of a breather from my main Attack On Titan story I'm working on right now. This is slightly AU and sets an alternative storyline for Malfoy through Deathly Hallows. Also I'd just like to say I completely love Ron and Hermione together but just wanted to write this. In this story Ron and Hermione have a completely platonic relationship. I hope you enjoy. I've rated it M to be safe as there's nothing graphic but there are adult scenes, scenes of torture, language etc. Please feel free to read, review etc. This fic was written listening to: Castle On The Hill – Ed Sheeran.

 **Castle On The Hill.**

 **Chapter 1 – Prisoner**

Malfoy screwed his eyes shut. He didn't want to watch anymore but he could still hear her screams. He wanted to make them stop. What was she doing to her? Malfoy shivered. He didn't want to know. No one deserved to be tortured like that. No one. Especially her. He clenched his fists to stop himself from flying across the room at his deranged aunt. He felt his mother's talons gripping tightly onto his shoulder. Granger was screaming. She was being so brave, she always had been. She was braver than he ever could be. He was a coward. He always had been. If he was any type of decent person he would be trying to stop this from happening. Oh how he wished he could. Oh how he wished he'd been that little bit braver all those years ago. But he wasn't Potter. And he most certainly wasn't Weasley. No matter how much he wanted to be he couldn't. Not ever.

He opened his pale grey-blue eyes hesitantly. He clenched his jaw his stomach twisting sickeningly at the sight. Bellatrix was leaning over her caging her beneath her body. She was like a rabbit caught in the jaws of a coyote. Granger had changed since he'd last seen her. She was still just as beautiful with her long, untamed brown mane and warm brown eyes. Those pink flushed cheeks and her pretty upturned nose smattered with freckles were the same as when he'd first met her all those years ago. But now there was a darkness behind her eyes. She'd seen things that she hadn't read about in books. Dark things. She'd matured. She was a woman now as opposed to a girl. Her skinny girlish frame had filled out into that of a woman. Her glassy eyes met his and they looked at him pleadingly. She needed someone to save her. And that would never be him. Not ever. He wasn't a hero. He was a villain.

He looked away from her guiltily his guts writhing. She'd always made him feel that way. Granger was the symbol of everything good and right in the world. Everything he wasn't. Everything he was supposed to find repulsive. But it was he that was repulsive. He was nothing compared to her. He couldn't save her. He couldn't even save himself. Potter and Weasley would come up with something. Well, a lot slower without Granger, but they would think of something down there.

His eyes trailed along her pale, slender forearm. Her perfect skin had been marked forever. Marked by an ugly, dark word. Mudblood. An ugly word he'd called her what felt like an entire life time ago. He wished he could have taken those words back. But he couldn't. It was too late for forgiveness.

He'd wanted to apologise to her so many times but they would only laugh at him. She would only glare at him with that hate filled look she reserved especially for him. He deserved it. He'd been taught to say those awful things. He truly had never meant any of them. He only wished to be accepted by his own father. He wanted him to be proud. Looking at his father now he wondered why he'd ever bothered. He was a ghost. Grey, drinking too much and a husk of his former self. Had he always been so small? Draco's pale blonde hair stood at least half a head above his now. Pathetic. Like father like son.

He wished he could have told her all those years ago how he really felt about her. He'd always admired her regardless of what vile words had spilled from his traitorous mouth. She was so smart, brave, fiery, and fearless. She was a hero. No matter how much his words should have stung her she never cried, not in front of him anyway. She was always so stubborn, so stoic. She had a beautiful laugh and a beautiful smile. One that he'd often admired from afar when she was messing about with Potter and Weasley. He hated that they got to see that smile every day up close. He loved the way two small frown lines would appear between her eyes as she concentrated on a book. He loved the way her hair would slowly frizz out around her face like a wispy halo as she stood over her cauldron. He loved the determined fire he'd seen in her eyes right before she'd burst his nose in third year. He loved everything about her. He'd given up trying to deny that long ago.

He wished he'd been brave enough to say those things out loud. Been brave enough not to care what his 'friends' or family would think about his feelings. He wished that things were different. That he was a different guy. He wished he wasn't a pure-blood, not a Malfoy, not a – death eater, it wouldn't matter. He could have loved her. If he'd been a better, more whole person he could have treated her right if she'd let him. But it was too late to think on that now. He was ugly and broken and the whole world was going to shit.

Stupid Potter leading her to this awful place he called home. He'd tried to cover for the idiot. He'd inwardly pleaded for Bellatrix to let them go. But Bella would never give up so easily. He heard a crack and little Dobby appeared with Potter and Weasley. He physically felt himself relax and sigh with relief. Good. They were here to rescue her to take her away from this awful place. Curses started to fly around the room. Draco dodged and half heartedly fired off a few in Potter's direction. He made his way closer to Hermione she was struggling to get to her feet. He held out his hand to her in the darkness and she looked him with a fearful, confused expression.

"Look Granger. Let's put all that playground shit behind us right now. There's a war going on. Let's get you out of here." He said quickly as he hauled her to her feet without waiting for her to answer.

He watched her brown eyes widen like orbs. He dropped her hand quickly. Her fingers were so warm and slender against his cool palm. He felt little volts of electricity travelling all over his body just from that simple touch. Well Draco, at least you finally had the balls to hold her hand before you died. Even if it meant nothing to her it, it meant everything to him. He pushed her gently over to Harry dodging curses and getting into a duel with Potter as he left her side. He wished he was going with them instead of staying in this place with these…'people'. Potter disarmed him and took his wand. He sighed. He'd given up. He didn't want to fight. He had nothing left. No pride, no integrity, no strength, no love in his heart.

Hermione was watching him. She'd never looked at him like that before. There was something else in her eyes that wasn't hate. In the middle of a battleground he felt his heart beat strongly in his chest. She was the reason he even felt barely alive. His pulse raced as she watched him as if trying to break him apart. Like a potion she was trying to find the components for. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Would ever see. Be safe Granger. Protect her well Potter and Weasley. Protect her like I would if I could. Her eyes softened on him and he wondered what she was thinking in that moment.

Then their moment was broken. Just before they disapparated with Dobby, Bellatrix lurched forwards and grabbed Hermione. No. Hermione winced in pain as Bella's fingernails dug into the raw flesh on her arm. Her thumbnail scarred a half moon above the 'M' of Mudblood. Draco wanted to kill his aunt. But he wasn't a hero. So he slunk back to the shadows helplessly as he watched Potter, Weasley, Lovegood, Griphook and Ollivander blurring as they disapparted. Bellatrix flung Hermione to the floor. She still wasn't crying. Her lip was bleeding. He hated seeing her like this. She was going to die. And he would have to watch. His heart sank. He felt sick.

"Draco…why don't you take our new little pet down to the dungeon. They'll be back for her. And we'll be ready." She said with her dark, wicked grin.

Malfoy tried to keep a cool head even though his heart was racing. Please don't make him do anything to her he pleaded.

"And if he doesn't come back?" Asked Lucius as his fingers shook around his goblet.

Bellatrix smirked.

"He will. Little Potter's got a soft spot for this one. Pretty for a little mudblood." She said as she grabbed Hermione's jaw roughly.

Hermione squirmed as she sat on the floor as Bellatrix leant over her. She looked up at her with a defiant fire in her eyes. Draco had to fight a smile as he watched Bellatrix shrink back slightly. That's it Granger. Don't give up yet. He felt a twinge at the mention of Harry. It was true him and Weasley were closest to her and by now one of them was probably dating her if they had any sense. He envied them. Hermione wasn't meant for him. She was good and whole. This was the way it should be. But it still hurt to think of her with someone else. He really was pathetic. As if she'd even think of you for a second, unless it was to hate you.

Lucius coughed urgently and looked between Draco and Hermione pointedly. Malfoy nodded as his heart raced. Make it convincing. Make it look like you're hurting her but be gentle. He walked over to her with that perfectly practised cool sneer. She was burning through the ice in his eyes with her wild fire. He grabbed the top of her arm careful not to grip too tightly and hauled her to her feet. She was struggling against him and Draco tried to communicate with his eyes. Come on Granger use your head. I don't want to hurt you. He watched her eyes widen slightly. That look again.

"Maybe you can get her to spill a few secrets Draco. She is an old school chum of yours isn't she?" Said Bellatrix with a scheming smile.

Draco froze. No. He wouldn't hurt her. He turned to her and nodded quickly before he led Hermione down the stairs. Her squirms were getting stronger and he was losing his grip on her.

"Get off me Malfoy!" She shouted as she wrenched her arm free. She ran from him.

Malfoy smiled darkly. See. All she'll ever want to do is run from you. You did that. She already ran from you once you pathetic excuse for a human being.

He caught up to her quickly and grabbed her wrists pressing her against the wall. She stared up at him defiant and breathless. She was too beautiful this close. He couldn't even think straight. He could smell the perfume she used. The one he'd smelled coming from that cauldron of amortentia all those years ago.

"Granger. I won't hurt you all right. I know you won't believe me but I meant what I said earlier."

Hermione struggled against his grip and she looked in his eyes expecting the cold icy eyes she knew. His eyes had changed. He had changed. Draco was more man than boy. His white blonde hair was falling onto his forehead. His face was beyond pale, beneath his eyes were heavily shadowed. They looked almost like bruises. He wasn't sleeping. He had a scruff of blonde hairs across his cheeks and pointed chin. He had grown very handsome even she had to admit that. Something about him had softened. Even his voice didn't have that same venom anymore.

"I'm going to let you go now." He said.

Hermione's eyes widened. His voice was so soft. Those cold eyes were so gentle. They almost looked warm in this dim light.

"Aren't you going to torture me?" She asked.

Malfoy shook his head as he let her go. He expected her to run again but she stood perfectly still before him.

"I think I did enough of that back in school." He said with a tight smile.

Hermione's eyes widened. What had happened to the Malfoy she knew? This Malfoy made her feel strange. Where there had once been hate for him there was now pity.

"You need to get out of here…I have an idea." He said as he lost himself in his thoughts.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Asked Hermione quietly.

Malfoy shrugged.

"I'm not a hero like you. I'm a coward. But I'm tired of being everyone's little puppet. I'm making a decision of my own. And I want to get you out of here."

Hermione's eyes narrowed as she watched him looking for any hint of a lie. Her mouth opened as she realised for possibly the first time in her life Draco Malfoy was being honest.

"Why?" She asked with an incredulous look on her face.

"Because I figure that evil never wins over good. And if good has any hope of succeeding you need to get out of here. It's not too late for me to do something at least a little bit heroic."

Hermione swallowed as she watched his sad smile. Who was this person standing before her? She'd thought she'd known him. But as she stood here in the cold cell she realised she didn't know him at all. The thought chilled her to the bone. She wrapped her arms around herself. This was too weird.

She was looking at him really strangely. His heart was racing. He noticed how cold she looked. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and placed it gently around her shoulders. She raised her face to his and he felt like his heart was going to leap from his chest. She was so close surely she could hear it? Please don't hear it he pleaded.

Their faces were so close together. Hermione didn't know what to say or why her pulse was racing like that. She'd only been that close to him once before. In fifth year with mistletoe and his fingers tangled in her hair. She blushed at the memory.

"Come on. We need to hurry." Said Malfoy breaking the odd moment that had passed between them.

He quickly walked to the back of the cell motioning for her to follow. Hermione held his coat around her tighter. It smelled like him. That smell… She blushed. It was his cologne. It was warm and spicy. Like firewhisky. Like…amortentia. She blushed. For reasons she couldn't or wouldn't admit and beyond her own common sense Hermione began to follow him.

"I have no idea why I'm trusting you Malfoy." She muttered.

Malfoy smiled.

"Not much choice have you Granger? Unless you want to go back to being a prisoner?"

Hermione watched the smile on his pale lips. He looked so different when he smiled. Younger, more handsome. It wasn't a smirk. It was a smile. His smile made her stomach flip. Was she losing her mind? Yes. She was.

She rolled her eyes and followed after him. He took the ring off his finger and pressed it against the wall. Hermione gasped. A secret passage.

Malfoy was running beside her as they weaved through cold, dark passages before entering into the damp night air. They weaved through maze like hedges in the extensive Malfoy gardens. He took her right to the gates. She could apparate from beyond them.

"Alright Granger neither of us have wands so we have to do this the old fashioned way." He said as he crouched over making a foothold for Hermione with his hands. Hermione's eyes widened. If she hadn't been so afraid she would have laughed.

"You expect me to climb over this fence?!" She asked indignantly.

Malfoy couldn't help but smile at her expression.

"Well do you have any better ideas? You can apparate beyond this gate. The whole thing is enchanted and charmed with protections but not for climbing. He only protected it against witches and wizards why would he care if a few daft muggles try to get over?" He asked.

Hermione pondered for a moment before nodding. He was right. Florence watched Malfoy closely. Why had he done this for her? It was so dangerous. What did he gain from this? Was it a trick?

"What will happen to you?" She asked.

Malfoy grimaced but his mouth opened slightly in surprise at her question. Why did she care?

"I'll escape with my life if I beg him and Auntie Bella."

"Come with me." She blurted out.

Hermione blushed and Malfoy looked at her as if she'd grown two heads.

"Granger did you get hit with a confundus or something?" He asked with a calculated grin.

But inside his heart was racing and he felt like the happiest man alive. She'd asked him to go with her willingly. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined she would ask him that.

She shook her head.

"Look Malfoy you're a prick and I don't trust you-"

"Well Granger you flatter me-"

"But. I owe you my life. If what you've told me tonight is true then come with me. Fight with us. Help us win. It's not too late to be a hero." She said.

Malfoy was taken aback by her frankness. Oh how he wanted to go with her. To protect her. But it was too late.

"I appreciate the sentiment Granger but the weasel would kill me before I even got the chance to explain. And he'd be right to. It's too late for me. My place is here. This is my home. I belong here. And you belong with them. Go and save the world." He said gently.

Hermione felt heaviness settle on her heart. She didn't think she'd ever pity Malfoy. But watching him now. She knew she did. He was being forced into this life and now he'd gone too far to turn back. He was right it wouldn't ever work. They'd spent too long being enemies. But he wasn't a coward he was wrong about that. She found she didn't want to leave him here with them. But what else could she do?

Hermione nodded and he helped her scale the gates.

"Ow. You're heavier than you look Granger."

Hermione gasped and resisted the urge to punch him in the face again.

"Watch it Malfoy." She said as she hauled herself over the other side.

They stood just simply gazing at one another on opposite sides of the fence.

Malfoy smiled sadly.

"Take care Granger." He said awkwardly.

Hermione nodded.

"You too Malfoy. For what it's worth… I don't think you're a coward."

Malfoy watched the guilty flush spread across her face. It was beautiful. He felt so warm and fuzzy all over. Was this what it felt like to do something good? She deserved the truth. No matter how embarrassing that truth was. He would tell her. If he lived through this.

"Thanks Granger." He said with a nod.

Hermione turned from him and apparated.

Draco sighed and fell to his knees in the dewy grass. You are a coward Draco. You've been in love with a girl for seven years and you still didn't tell her. And now you're going to die. It was better that way. She'd never be tainted by the knowledge that someone like you loved her.


	2. Tortured

**AN:** This chapter I'm listening to Adele – Water Under the Bridge.

 **Chapter 2 – Tortured.**

Draco lay on the floor breathing shallow breaths. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to do anything. They'd tortured every part of his body and mind but he was still breathing.

"Disobeying me to save a filthy mudblood. Now Draco you know you deserve this don't you? I'm actually being quite kind." Sneered Voldemort from above him.

He could hear his mother crying.

"I have seen into your mind Draco. And it is weak and filled with impure thoughts of that filth. Do you really want to lower yourself with that scum? You would be even lower than Mudbloods. You'd be a mudblood lover, a blood traitor. Is that what you really want Draco?" He asked with barely concealed anger in his voice.

"That isn't true! My Draco, he would never-"

"SILENCE!" He shouted.

The dark Lord silenced his mother with one look. He swallowed thickly. This was how he was going to die. He hoped wherever Granger was that she was doing ok.

He screamed out in pain as Voldemort and Bellatrix hailed curses on his body. His forearm above the dark mark was searing hot. He could feel sticky blood seeping from the wounds. Wit his last ounce of strength he looked at his marked arm. It was disgusting. He felt sick just looking at. Scrawled over the skull and snake were the words 'Mudblood Lover'. He smiled weakly. We match now Granger. He didn't care. He'd give up everything for her even his life. He didn't care what they called him or did to him. He did it all for her.

"We have to go back for him." She pleaded.

Harry and Ron looked at her completely dumbfounded.

She'd been acting strange since that night she'd arrived at shell cottage. Distracted somehow.

"Are you still talking about Malfoy?" Asked Harry with a confused frown.

"Hermione are you mental? He let you go and that was really good of him but we can't go back there on some hunch you have that Malfoy wants to defect. We can't trust him." Said Ron as he changed out of his wet clothes.

"You weren't there. You didn't see. He's- he's changed. He risked his life—to let me go And there was this time before, in school-."

She hadn't been able to get him out of her mind. His eyes, his sad smile. He just looked so defeated. Gone was the pompous sneer she'd hated and feared as a child. But they weren't children anymore. Much had changed. She shuddered to think what they were doing to him.

"Hermione we just robbed Gringotts. He knows about the Horcruxes. We have to get to Hogwarts now. There's no time. I'm sorry. But I'm with Ron. He knew what he was risking when he let you go. And I'll always be grateful to him for that." Said Harry gently.

Hermione felt her eyes fill with tears. They were right. It was too late. Well Malfoy no matter what, we won't let people forget you did something heroic before the end. She nodded in assent as they apparated to Hogwarts. Please don't give up Draco. Don't give up on yourself.

Malfoy watched Voldemort fly into a blind rage and smiled. He was mad. Potter must be doing well. That's it Granger. Just keep going. Don't give up. They were going to win.

"Do you see what you've done?" Screamed Voldemort as he raised his wand at him.

Malfoy sat up with the last of his strength and he smiled. Yes. He'd did the right thing for once in his life and it felt great. He would die happy knowing Granger was safe and they were going to win. He hadn't been a coward for once and it felt great.

"No!" Shouted Narcissa as she flew to her son's side.

She crouched down beside him and whispered in his ear.

"Draco. Get out of here. I love you." She pressed a key into his palm and when he gripped onto it the room spun out of a focus and he felt himself whirling through the air.

A portkey.

He groaned as he hit the earth hard. He covered his ears as the sound of intruder alarms assaulted him. He was in Hogsmeade. He hadn't been here in years. The place had changed. It was darker and he struggled to remember the laughter filled winter snowball fights they'd had here. Everything had changed. He felt himself being hauled indoors and he stumbled to his feet. Everything hurt but he had to keep going.

"This one of yours too?" Asked Aberforth.

Harry and Ron frowned and Hermione's eyes widened and a grin spread across her face. He was ok. She felt relief flood through her. He looked like hell. But he was ok. He tugged his sleeve down self consciously. The mark. She shouldn't want to be near him. He was the enemy. But too much had changed. It all seemed so petty now. This was real. She wanted to embrace him but she was too afraid. Instead she walked forwards and took his hand in hers.

"Yes. Now let's go." Said Hermione firmly.

Ron and Harry gave her measured looks. It was reckless to trust him. But something within her told her to trust him. To trust in the way he made her feel. He filled her with hope.

She turned to Malfoy to find his eyes on their interlinked fingers. She blushed. Holding his hand felt strange. But it didn't feel bad. His hands were warmer than she'd expected. She liked the feeling.

"Don't make me regret trusting you Malfoy alright? If this is a trick-" began Hermione.

"Then we'll kill you." Said Ron narrowing his eyes.

Malfoy nodded. Ron's eyes widened slightly. There was no barbed retort. Maybe he really had changed. No one had time to challenge it. They made their way through the portrait. Malfoy hesitated and Hermione tugged on his hand.

"Come on. You did mean what you said didn't you? Time to be a hero. Trust me like I trusted you." Said Hermione with a small smile.

Draco looked at her hand in his. Was this really happening? He nodded and followed her through.

"What's he doing here?" Asked Neville.

"It's a really long story Longbottom. But don't worry I promise I won't kill you if that's what you're worried about."

Neville glanced at he and Hermione's linked fingers.

"What's with them?" He whispered.

Ron and Harry both shook their heads and shrugged.

The castle had been hell to navigate especially when they were tagging along an ex-Slytherin death eater into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione had been quite protective of him. Malfoy had to admit it felt nice to have her defend him like that. So she didn't think he was a complete dick. That was good.

"Right we've only got one hour. Something of Ravenclaw's…" Harry wracked his brains.

"I don't know what it is he never said. But he told us where. He's sent death eaters to protect the room of requirement he must have hid it in there."

Harry nodded gratefully.

"Of course! Thanks."

Malfoy found it felt strange to be thanked by Harry. But not bad strange.

"Let's go Ron."

"Wait! What do you want us to do? And be careful they won't hesitate with the killing curse." Said Malfoy.

"Find a way to destroy that cup. Here have this back." Said Harry passing him his wand back.

Malfoy nodded gratefully.

Hermione tugged on his hand once more. This was becoming a habit. A habit he quite liked. He liked the feeling of her hand in his.

"We're going to the chamber of secrets." She shouted over her shoulder as she and Malfoy began to run.

Harry and Ron shrugged before heading up to the room of requirement.

"Granger do you have one of your crazy ideas again?"

Hermione grinned wickedly but didn't answer as they ran to the chamber.

Malfoy and Hermione stood in front of the sink.

"Well tell it to open." Said Hermione bossily.

Malfoy frowned. But contained a smile. She was cute when she was bossy.

"You think I know parseltongue?" he asked incredulously.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"Well I just thought I mean you're a slytherin and you've been around…him, a lot."

Malfoy would have been hurt if he didn't find it so funny. He laughed.

"Wow Granger. After all this time it's _you_ saying all the nasty things to _me_. The world really has gone crazy."

Hermione blushed.

"Well I'm sorry I just thought, wait a minute why am I sorry? for years you-"

"I know Granger. And I can't ever take it back. But for what it's worth I am sorry. And we'll figure this out. Together."

Hermione watched him closely. He really had changed. He looked genuinely sorry.

"Right. Well thankfully Harry talks in his sleep so-"

Hermione watched Malfoy tense slightly. She wondered what she'd said to make that happen?

Malfoy felt jealousy writhe in his veins. Of course she was sleeping with Potter. He was the person he could never be.

Malfoy and Hermione finally made it down to the chamber. It was cold and damp. Darkness still slept here even though the beast had long been vanquished. They approached the basilisk skeleton and Hermione carefully wriggled a fang free.

She placed the cup on the floor and held out the fang to him.

"You do it." She said quietly.

Malfoy shook his head.

"I can't."

Hermione came closer and pushed the fang into his hand.

"Yes you can. If you really meant what you said before. I know you can." She said softly.

He was just looking at her and she wondered what he was thinking. He was so close and so warm. She had to admit being close to Malfoy wasn't as bad as she'd imagined. It was actually nice. This felt right somehow. They were meant to be here together now.

He nodded and with shaking hands he knelt on the floor and drove the fang right through the cup. It skittered away and let out a dark scream. He watched in horror as black waves rose up from the water in the shape of his deathly pale visage. He grabbed Hermione's hand and ran. They couldn't escape it. He pulled Hermione against him and shielded her slightly as the water cascaded down on them.

Hermione clung to his warm, firm chest. This was different from embracing Harry or Ron. He made her feel different. Malfoy tentatively brushed damp tendrils of her hair back from her forehead as she gazed up at him. He was being so gentle. Her heart was racing. She flushed beneath his soft eyes. The grey ice chips no longer scared her. They were quite beautiful now.

"You ok Granger?"

She nodded. Unable to speak just yet.

"You did it." She said with a proud smile.

He shook his head.

"No. You did it. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

She frowned at his words but he'd already parted from her.

"Come on we don't have much time."

They ran to meet Harry and Ron. Malfoy glanced side ways at Hermione. It was now or never.

"Do you think if I hadn't been me we could've been friends?" He asked hesitantly.

Hermione slowed her run down beside him until she stopped completely. She knew they didn't have time to talk like this but what if they didn't ever have time to? Lives would be lost tonight. They would make time now. It might be the only time they had. Malfoy was watching her carefully. She noticed he was fidgeting with his sleeve. He was nervous. Who knew Draco Malfoy could be shy. But that overly confident, slick haired arsehole teenager wasn't who was standing in front of her now.

Hermione hesitated as she pondered her answer.

"But you're you right now. I think we could have been friends if you were like this. You were an arse in school you know." Said Hermione honestly.

Malfoy laughed.

"Yeah I was. Sorry about that. But you know you were pretty mean to me too. You punched me square in the face."

"And you deserved a good punch and more." She said haughtily.

"True. You know I only acted that way because I didn't know how to act any other way."

Hermione's eyes widened as their steps fell in time and they walked down the hall ways together.

"And now?" She asked.

"Now I know it was wrong. I _was_ a complete arse. But it's too late to take everything I said or did back."

Hermione shook her head.

"It's never too late. Do you want to be my friend?" She asked quickly with a shy blush.

Malfoy gazed at her strangely waiting on her to tease him about being pathetic but it never came.

"I've never wanted anything more Granger. Let's bury the hatchet shall we?" He said extending his hand to her.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"If you wanted to be my friend back then you could have just not treated me like I was a human being you know. I would've been your friend. But you couldn't bear the idea of having someone as low as me as an acquaintance. You would have been ridiculed. So what's changed?"

Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"You honestly think I care about all that blood purity blood shit now? I never did. I was just saying what my parents wanted to hear. I was a kid for fucks sake I was hormonal and ignorant and prejudiced. I am sorry for everything I said to you. I never meant any of it. But don't act like you, Potter and Weasley were any better back then. You were prejudiced towards me too. If I'd asked you to be my friend you would've laughed at me and come up with some snide remark. You were first to accuse me of being a death eater back in sixth year. You didn't even ask. You just assumed I was because that's something someone like me would do right? Someone that was no good. Don't try and deny it. You know I didn't even raise my wand at Potter last year. He just fired off a curse at me and left me bleeding on the floor. And after you kissed me you ran…"

Hermione blushed. He was so different. So human. So broken. How could this person have been hiding inside him all this time? She suddenly felt very guilty. He was right. They would've did those things. The prejudice worked both ways. They were just as guilty as he had been. It was time to bury the hatchet before it was too late. So he still remembered that kiss?

"You're right…I can't believe I actually said that. But you are. We were wrong back then too. But we can fix this. Friends?" She held her palm out to him.

He gripped her palm in his. He smiled as they shook hands. Hermione liked the way it felt. She blushed beneath his gaze. He made her feel strange. Her stomach was squirming with butterflies and her pulse was racing. She was developing a completely senseless and reckless crush on Malfoy fuelled only by the fact that she was going to die within a few hours. That was all this was. Apart from the fact that she'd had these feelings since that kiss two years ago.

"Granger, I want you to have something all right. If I die down there-"

"Malfoy don't-"

"If I die. I want you to know the truth. About me. About everything. I don't care what anyone else thinks but I don't want you thinking of me as an arse all right."

"I don't think you're an arse I just-"

"Promise me." He asked.

His eyes were serious. She nodded her head.

"Give me a flask or something out of that old lady bag of yours." He asked teasingly trying to make light of the situation.

Hermione pouted.

"It is NOT an old lady bag." She muttered.

Malfoy smiled as she rummaged in her bag. He memorised every line of her beautiful face. The way her damp hair curled beneath her chin. The rosiness of her lips and cheeks. He would never forget her he couldn't. If he died tonight he would die a hero because of this woman.

Malfoy closed his eyes and focused letting his mind wander back to all those moments he'd kept secret and hidden away from the world and from her. Only Voldemort had seen these precious moments before her.

Hermione watched the silvery glow of Malfoy's memories swirling around the flask. She didn't understand.

"Just promise you'll look alright." He said softly as he passed the flask to her.

Hermione nodded and Harry and Ron came running round the corner being chased by fire.

"We got it!" Shouted Harry.

"We got ours too." Said Hermione.

"The last one it's the snake. We have to go."

Hermione nodded but Draco looked down the stairwell listening to the crashes. He watched the flashes of hexes and curses. He was going to fight. For once in his life. He wasn't going to run away.

"You three have this covered. You've been doing shit like this for years. I'm going to help them fight. It might even come in handy you know me having been one of them. I know how they work." He said with a sad smile.

Harry nodded.

"Good luck." Said Harry.

"You too Potter." He said with a genuine smile.

Ron gave him an awkward thumbs up.

Hermione gave him an odd look. She looked sad but proud and happy all at once. Before he even had the chance to say anything to her she was already making her way over to him. She threw her arms around his neck impulsively and he froze. Hermione Granger was hugging him.

Hermione linked her arms behind his neck. She rested her forehead in the crook of his neck. He was so warm and that smell that was so distinctively him. Spicy and familiar. She'd denied the fact it was him she'd smelled from the amortentia all those years ago but there was no denying it now. She felt his arms encircle her waist. He squeezed her gently. She felt so safe and warm here she almost forgot about the battle raging around them.

"Don't do anything too heroic all right. Stay safe." She whispered.

She pulled back from him. His eyes were so warm. She'd never seen him look like that before. So peaceful. She wondered why.

He nodded as he let her leave his side.

"Did you just cuddle Malfoy?" Asked Harry in disbelief.

Hermione shoved him as they ran the opposite way.

Malfoy watched them go with a smile. He laid his palm across his heart. Hermione wouldn't ever leave his mind now. Not after that. She would be his shield as he ran down into the fray. Fight for her. And the man you should have been Draco.


	3. Begin Again

**AN:** This chapter I'm listening to Begin Again – Taylor Swift.

 **Chapter 3**

 **Begin Again.**

Malfoy wiped the sweat from his brow. He pulled his jacket off and took a breather behind a pillar. He slowly slid to the floor. Everything had gone to shit. Bodies littered the floor. He wiped the blood from his forehead. He hoped where ever Hermione was that she was faring better than he was.

He saw a figure in the distance. It looked like Hermione but he was exhausted. He was probably just imagining her. She was running towards him. Her eyes were filled with tears. She was alive. He breathed a sigh of relief. The fighting was over. Everybody was exhausted, dead or too injured to go on. Voldemort had ended it. Now it was time to put the dead to rest and help the injured. Come on Potter end this once and for all.

She leant next to him saying nothing as she got her breath back. He knew she didn't want to talk. Not now. Potter wasn't here. Not a good sign. He put his arm around her instinctively and he felt his heart beat strongly in his chest as she leant into his touch.

"It'll be alright Granger."

Hermione wiped her tears. She looked at him softly through her blurry eyes.

"You're just saying that."

Malfoy shook his head. Granger was the optimistic one not him but right now she needed assurance.

"Look at us. Even if the only good thing that comes from tonight is that people who last year you would've hexed each other on the spot are sitting amicably together that's something. Even if we all die it wasn't for nothing. It's not how we're different but how we're the same. Voldemort and all the rest they'll never get that."

Hermione's eyes widened. Malfoy was so articulate, so sensitive. She found that a very attractive quality in him. The longer she looked at him. The more lost and helpless she was to fight these feelings that were resurfacing. Maybe it was the futility of the situation she wasn't sure. But she wished she'd spent more time talking to Malfoy before now.

"That was very…inspiring." She said gently.

Malfoy blushed shyly.

Hermione smiled. He looked so cute.

Malfoy? Cute? Christ. She was off her head.

"How are we the same then?" She asked.

Malfoy hesitated.

He took his arm from around her and placed it on his lap palm facing up.

"We're both human. We both feel and bleed and believe that there has to be a better way or we wouldn't be fighting on the same side. I want people like us not to be afraid of being friends. We're different but we all have the same scars Granger." He said as he pulled his sleeve up.

Hermione winced as the dark mark was revealed to her. She gasped as she saw the words carved over it. He had that because of her. Guilt settled in the pit of her stomach. She tentatively brushed her forefinger across the smooth pale skin around the tattoo. Then she let her fingertip fall into the tender grooves of the scar. She felt him shudder beneath her.

"Sorry. They did that to you because of me. Because you let me go." She said bitterly.

Malfoy shook his head and tilted her head up with his fingers. He left his fingers on her chin and he watched her closely.

"No not because of you. Because of them. They're all fucked in the head like I used to be that's why. High on all that blood purity bull shit. We all bleed the same blood you know." He said shrugging.

Hermione blushed beneath his gaze. He was making her feel all warm and fuzzy. He was right. The world was wrong, not them.

She looked in his eyes they were so close. She felt his breath hitch. She looked at his mouth. His lips were pale and chapped. She wanted to kiss him again. She blushed. Oh dear God. She pulled back slightly sobering.

"Professor Snape he-"

"I know." Said Malfoy.

Hermione watched him. His voice was husky with emotion and his grey eyes were wet with tears. He and Snape had always been close throughout school. She'd often wondered what they spoke about so often. Snape had cared for him like his own son.

Hermione took Malfoy's hand and squeezed it tenderly.

"I'm sorry. You were close."

Malfoy shook his head.

"It was more than that. My own father wasn't worth a shit. He didn't care. He wanted me to murder and hate but he never did. He kept me safe. He protected me. He killed Dumbledore so I didn't have to. He didn't want to you know. He had a lot of secrets. He wasn't like the person everyone thought." He said softly.

A tear fell from his eye and Hermione swallowed a lump in her throat. She got no joy from seeing this version of Malfoy in pain. She only felt sadness and regret.

"Like you then. You have a secret too." She said.

He gazed straight into her eyes.

She felt her breath catch. How could she be feeling theses things from someone that hated her so much? But did he really still hate her? He was being so gentle, so kind.

"I already gave up my secrets in that flask. Come on we need to help the others."

Hermione's eyes widened. She'd forgotten. She wondered what memory he had given her. Now wasn't the time. She nodded slowly and took his hand as they walked through the decimated corridors.

"I never thought Draco Malfoy would be walking these halls holding my hand. But I'm glad." She said gently.

Malfoy smiled and nodded. Neither had he. He gripped her hand a little tighter.

They all stood outside watching as Hagrid carried Potter in his arms. It was over. He'd won. And they were all going to die. He heard Hermione crying next to him and he pulled her close. He felt her hot tears soak through his shirt. She clung to him tightly. He wasn't going to leave her side no matter what.

He noticed his mother and father glaring at him. He didn't care anymore. He wasn't afraid. They'd made their choice and he'd made his.

Voldemort stood sneering at them all. His gaze lingered on Malfoy for an extra second. He wanted them all to defect. No chance. He would never go back.

"Come on Draco." Ushered his mother.

He swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat. His poor mother. Hermione raised her wet brown eyes to his. She looked scared. He smiled at her weakly.

"I'm not going back there." He whispered.

He felt Hermione place her hand across his chest protectively. He placed his own hand over hers. You've always had my heart in your hands Hermione he thought.

He looked towards his family and shook his head.

"No."

Voldemort sneered at him.

"It's no matter. You'll all be dead soon. Enjoy your moment with your little mudblood Draco. You won't have many more of them."

Then three things happened in quick succession. Neville gave a very inspiring speech. Harry came back to life. And then the death eaters began to disapparate including his parents. He and Hermione were running back to the castle fleeing Voldemort and his snake. It turned out this crazy night wasn't over at all. They still had plenty of fight left in them. Voldemort better be ready for them.

It was over. All of it. He was gone. They'd won. They sat on the stone steps that were somehow still standing. Harry and Ron sat reclining fully. Ginny sat between them. Malfoy and Hermione sat awkwardly beside one another on the step above them. How odd to all be sitting together like this. But after everything it all seemed so insignificant.

"So what do we do now?" Asked Ron.

"Keep on living and don't forget those we lost to get here." Answered Harry.

They all sat in silence for a moment. Harry and Ron put their arms around Ginny.

"Will you go back to school next year?" Asked Hermione.

Harry shrugged as he turned to her. He hadn't thought to think that far ahead.

She glanced across at Draco.

He shook his head.

"No. I don't think so. Although I don't have anywhere else to go so maybe. Doubt I'd be welcomed back home even if I wanted to. Wow. I'm officially poorer than you Weasley." He said with a sad smile.

Everyone laughed nervously. It felt so odd to laugh after everything. And to laugh at Draco. To laugh with him. Their former enemy. It all seemed so petty and insignificant now.

Hermione gazed at him. She didn't know this man at all. She had thought she did. But she was just as bad as the rest she'd let her prejudice get in the way. She wanted the truth he'd promised her now.

"You're poor but at least you did the right thing. Didn't it make you feel good standing up to them like that?" Asked Hermione.

He turned to her and smiled.

"Yes. It did." He replied simply.

Hermione nodded. She frowned as she pulled the flask out of her pocket. She'd forgotten about it.

Malfoy blushed and quickly attempted to snatch it back. She pulled it away from his hands and clutched it against her chest.

"Come on Granger give me it back."

Hermione shook her head.

"No." She said with a teasing smile.

"Those are my memories. That's not fair." He pleaded.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Oh don't be such a baby Malfoy. You gave this memory to me for a reason. I want to see."

"Look I only gave you that because I thought I was going to die. It's way too embarrassing now. Please?" He asked with an outstretched hand.

Hermione stood above him.

"Well, well I never thought I'd hear Draco Malfoy beg for anything. You _have_ changed. But you're mad if you think I'll give this back." She said with an evil smirk.

"You're mean." He said.

"Call it payback." She said with a raise of her brow.

She stretched her hand out to him and he frowned.

"Well are you coming or not?" She asked.

"Where?"

"To the pensieve."

Draco groaned and fretted a hand through his hair.

He looked at Harry, Ron and Ginny who were all watching them with confused frowns.

"She doesn't give up does she?"

They all shook their heads in unison.

"Thought so." He said with a sigh.

"Look don't say I didn't warn you alright?" He said begrudgingly.

He took Hermione's hand and they walked to Dumbledore's office.

Harry, Ron and Ginny all exchanged glances.

"What was that about?" Asked Ron dumbly.

Harry shrugged.

"They're holding hands. They make quite a cute couple." Said Ginny with a smile.

Harry and Ron looked at her with wide eyes.

Ginny giggled.

"Ew you can't be serious?! That skinny ferret with our Hermione? He called her every name under the sun when we were kids!" Said Ron indignantly.

"True but we aren't kids anymore. We haven't been for a while. Wouldn't it be nice if something good came out of all those losses last night? Love conquers all." She said with a sad smile and tears in her eyes.

Harry and Ron looked towards Hermione and Malfoy again.

"He has changed. Maybe he does care about her. Ginny's right. Maybe we should put everything behind us. It's all different now." Said Harry.

"Yeah but he was still a git." Replied Ron moodily.

Harry and Ginny nodded with a laugh.

"True Ron. But he's changed. He saved Hermione's life. Sometimes people can't express the way they truly feel. I saw that in Snape's memories you know. He was a good man. Maybe Draco could be good too if we give him the chance." Said Harry.

They all nodded. It was time for a fresh start for all of them. Even Draco deserved that. They could admit he'd proved himself at least worthy of a second chance after last night.

Hermione poured the thin silver liquid into the basin. It was like his eyes. It was strange being in this office now. Dumbledore's presence still lingered. She supposed it always would no matter who the next headmaster may be. It still smelled like sherbet lemons. It made Hermione smile.

Hermione felt Malfoy's hand shake in hers.

He was even paler than usual and he was chewing his pale lip. He looked like a little boy again. She smiled.

"Is it really that bad?" She asked with a cringe preparing herself to see blood and death and all that Draco had seen during his time as a death eater.

Draco nodded.

"Worse. Don't think too badly of me alright? Well I mean any worse than you already do. If you don't want to ever see or speak to me again after this I'll completely understand."

Hermione wanted to comfort and reassure him that she wouldn't care no matter what she saw. But she just wasn't sure. She'd never seen him look so scared.

Draco let go of her hand and she leant over the basin with her heart racing. She leapt into the unknown realms of Malfoy's mind.

Hermione was surprised to find herself back at Hogwarts. This wasn't what she was expecting. She smiled despite herself. Malfoy was a young boy, this was the way she remembered him in first year. Slicked back hair, pale, pointy face with a constant look as if he'd just smelled something unsavoury. She almost laughed as she watched him with his slytherin goons that had made her school life hell. They were so tiny had she ever been truly afraid of them?

"We'll never get any house points with Potter and Granger in Gryffindor." Said Crabbe.

"Potter's not a threat. It's Granger. Little know it all always got her nose stuck in a…"

Malfoy tailed off mid sentence and began to walk briskly away from Crabbe and Goyle. He ignored the shouts of their name.

Hermione frowned when she found herself in the school library now. Her second home. She gasped as she found herself looking at herself at twelve years old. Her bushy hair obscured her face and her nose was stuck in book. She blushed. Malfoy was behind the bookcase watching her. She rarely remembered seeing Malfoy at the library. Strange. He was just watching her. She followed Malfoy as he scoured the bookshelves flipping open the covers of all the books. He was searching for something. She peeked over his small shoulder and saw him place his finger over her own handwritten initials. He placed that book on the table behind him and kept looking. Hermione frowned. It was strange to find herself in these innocent, unfamiliar memories of Malfoy's. Yet something felt oddly comfortable about being in his head. Once he'd assembled a fairly large pile he went to Madame Pince to check them out.

"This is a lot of advanced reading material Master Malfoy."

Draco became haughty and pouty and Hermione giggled. He was such a prat.

"I am aware. But I want to read everything she has. I want to keep pace." He said with a childish scowl.

Madame Pince raised her brow and gave him a knowing look.

"Oh you mean Miss Granger. So you want me to keep everything checked out by her back for you?" She asked.

Malfoy nodded coolly but Hermione saw the pink blush tint his cheeks.

Hermione gasped. She watched him struggle with his large pile of books. He'd wanted to keep pace with…her. But she'd had no idea he'd did that. She was sort of flattered by it. She began to wonder again if she'd really known Malfoy at all.

The memory shifted. She watched Draco in the corner of an exquisite room. It looked like he was being swallowed whole by the wing back chair he was sitting in. He was alone surrounded by books. He wasn't in school robes but smart clothes. He was a little order this time. Perhaps he was in second or third year and home for the holidays. He looked exhausted and he groaned agitatedly as he made an amendment to his notes.

"How can she still be ahead? I'm reading all the same things as her." He said in despair.

Why was he doing all this? She almost felt sorry for him. She had no idea he liked reading so much. Or was he only reading because she had read them? She blushed. That was odd.

He stiffened slightly as someone else entered the room.

"You're reading too much Draco. Look how skinny you're getting. You should be out practising Quidditch." Said his father as he entered the room.

Hermione stiffened slightly. Even though this Lucius Malfoy was only a memory he was still intimidating. She watched Draco carefully. He looked so scared.

He nodded.

"Yes father."

Lucius Malfoy picked up the books his son was reading with disdain. He analysed the covers.

"Draco, these aren't even on the prescribed reading lists."

She watched Draco squirm slightly and she saw pink tint his pale cheeks.

"I know. But I want to get ahead in class. She still beats me. She beats everyone." He said quietly

Lucius looked at him sternly.

"You mean, Miss Granger." His voice was dripping with distaste.

Hermione swallowed thickly her heart racing.

Draco nodded shyly.

"This won't do Draco. You don't need to _compete_ with riff raff like that. She is completely beneath you Draco in every way. So don't embarrass yourself any further by saying you actually believe someone as low as that could be your superior in any way." Said Lucius becoming increasingly angry

Draco stood from his chair with a gleam in his eyes and an animated expression.

"But she is father. She's smarter. Even when I try my hardest in all my classes I can only tie with her. She's really brilliant. Once in class she-"

Lucius smacked Draco across the cheek. The resounding crack echoed around the large room.

Hermione gasped and she clutched a hand to her mouth.

She watched as Draco placed a shaking hand over his red cheek. She saw tears fill his stormy eyes.

"I will not have you speak like that in this house Draco. They're filling your head with absolute nonsense in that school! You must never speak of that girl again. Stay away from her. Understand? This stops now." He said coldly.

Draco didn't say anything she watched his lip tremble. She was overcome with an overwhelming need to protect him. But she couldn't this was only a memory.

Lucius grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and looked like he was going to hit him again but he released him gently.

"Draco, I worry about you." He said with a disappointed look in his eyes before he swept away from him.

She watched Draco stand for a few moments before he picked the books up and clutched them close to his chest. He was crying. Hermione was alarmed to find tears falling from her own eyes. She'd had no idea. All this time he hadn't hated her at all.

The memory swirled and changed once more. Her eyes widened. Malfoy and Professor Snape were in his office. Malfoy was clutching a hand to his bloody nose. She blushed guiltily. She'd caused that.

She felt extremely guilty as Malfoy winced in pain as Snape began to repair his nose.

"I'll deduct 50 points from Gryffindor and speak to Dumbledore about Miss Granger's behaviour-"

"No. Don't. I deserved it really." He said.

Snape looked at him strangely and sighed.

"You have… feelings for Miss Granger don't you?" Asked Snape his black, sharp eyes narrowed.

Malfoy stiffened awkwardly and cast his eyes away from Snape's intense gaze. Hermione held her breath.

Malfoy shook his head but Hermione didn't fail to notice the pink blush on his cheeks.

"You wouldn't understand professor."

Snape sighed and went over to his cabinet pouring a warm drink for himself and Draco.

"Sit down Draco." Said Snape.

Hermione was surprised at Snape's surprisingly affectionate demeanour. She'd never seen this side to him. Draco had been right. He was a secretive man.

Malfoy sat and held the steaming cup of liquid in his long, pale fingers. He looked down into its contents never raising his eyes.

"Draco. I know how if feels to have feelings for someone you know you shouldn't with no hope of those feelings ever being returned."

Malfoy's eyes shot up to his. He was blushing hard now and Hermione smiled as she watched the awkward teen wriggling in his seat. She had never seen him act this way it was cute. She struggled to imagine Snape being in love. Perhaps that was one of his secrets.

"If you don't tell her how you really feel she'll find someone else. She's a very bright witch. Perhaps Potter or even Weasley-"

"I know! But what can I do? It won't work. My family, her family- we're too different. It's impossible. Plus she hates me. She broke my nose. And I deserved it." He said swirling the contents of his cup.

Snape sighed.

"If you're resigned to this then prepare yourself for a life time of regret and pain." He said earnestly.

Draco nodded and placed his cup on Snape's desk untouched.

"Then I guess that's what it'll need to be. You know my father. I don't want her to have anything to do with them or me. She'll be better off with Potter, even Weasley."

Snape's eyes widened at his mature words. Hermione gazed at him gently. He was on that cusp between boyhood and manhood.

"But will you be better off Draco?" He asked.

Draco smiled sadly.

"It doesn't matter. I'm already done for. No need to bring her down with me. I think you know that as well as I do…thanks anyway Professor." He said.

Snape nodded.

"If you need anyone to speak to Draco-"

"I know. Thanks." He said as he left Snape to stand alone deep in thought. Snape had the oddest look on his face. Hermione couldn't place it. It made her feel sad.

Hermione continued her journey through his memories. This was so strange she hadn't expected this. They were all about her. Draco Malfoy had feelings for…her.

"Draco have you asked anyone to the ball yet?" Asked Zabini as he lay completely across one couch in the common room.

Draco shook his head as he continued writing notes.

"I can't go with who I want. I don't think I'll bother." He said honestly.

Zabini nearly fell off the couch.

"What?! Who is she? You could have the pick of all the girls in the school. Who is she? You never told me you liked anyone you sneak. Pansy will be heartbroken if you don't take her. She's already said no to Nott cause she was waiting on you to ask her."

Malfoy blushed slightly.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not going. You should ask Pansy I'm not going to." He said with a shrug.

Zabini grinned but frowned.

"Really? You'd be cool with that?"

Draco nodded.

"She wants to go with you. Don't keep her waiting too long. You know how pouty she gets." Said Draco with a smile.

Zabini practically flew off the couch at his words.

Malfoy read over the words he'd written carefully. Hermione watched him in silence. He was becoming the handsome man she knew now. She blushed shyly. She'd been too blind to notice all these changes when she'd been here. How could he be so sweet and sensitive but to them he'd acted like a bully? Her head was a confused mess with the more she saw.

Draco folded up the parchament carefully and put it in an envelope. He wrote her name on it. She blushed and her eyes widened. He'd tried to tell her all those years ago. She'd found that note on her desk. It was a poem. A very beautiful poem. Harry and Ron had teased her about it relentlessly. She still had it. It was him all along. He could only tell her how he felt in secret. She felt her heart sink heavily in her chest. She felt tears fill her eyes. How could you keep all this to yourself Draco?

The scene changed but it was still the Slytherin common room.

Malfoy sat in the chair writing.

A gaggle of Slytrherins laughing merrily burst through the door dressed in their finest.

"Draco you missed yourself." Said Pansy with a pouted lip.

Draco shook his head.

"Not my scene Pansy." He replied with a tight smile.

"You should've seen Granger tonight. She was the prettiest girl there. All the boys couldn't take their eyes off her." Said Pansy with a smirk and pointed look at Malfoy.

Malfoy blushed and attempted to regain composure.

"Yeah she really was! Well, besides you Pans. It hurts me to admit that but who knew Granger would be so pretty when she looked up from her books?" Said Zabini before giving Pansy a long sloppy kiss.

Malfoy wrinkled his nose and returned to his reading as the others filtered to their dorms.

"I did. She's always been beautiful." He whispered to the silent darkness.

Hermione sighed. She was crying. She leant down next to him and whispered in his ear.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this Draco?"

She wished he could hear her.

The memory she now found herself in was from just one year later. She blushed she already knew this memory. She'd never told anyone about it. She was sitting in an empty classroom. The halls were decorated for the Christmas feast it was almost time for the holidays. It was past curfew and she'd just been at a DA meeting. She had her wand raised and she watched as her silvery patronus floated gracefully around her ankles. She smiled at the cute little otter.

"A fully formed Patronus. Impressive Granger."

She watched herself jump.

"Malfoy." She said with a curt nod and a clenched jaw.

She put her wand away and sat swinging her legs awkwardly off of the desk.

"Out past curfew. Never though I'd see the day you'd break the rules Granger. Umbridge won't be pleased." He said with a smirk.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"If you tell Umbridge I was out past curfew she'd know you were out too." She said in a bored tone.

Malfoy shrugged and smiled as he sat on the desk next to hers. She tensed at his proximity.

"I think I could charm her out of a detention. You on the other hand…"

Hermione laughed.

"You? Charming isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe you." She said with a snort.

Malfoy smiled and Hermione watched herself blush. This is where it had all started all those odd feelings she'd ignored. The butterflies she didn't dare tell anyone about.

"I'm not your type but you can't deny my charms at least Granger."

Hermione frowned and crossed her arms haughtily.

"And how would you know what my type is exactly?!"

Malfoy smiled.

"Well there are quite a lot of wizards and no doubt a few witches that would fling themselves at your feet. Your type…Hmmm. A burly, brainless Durmstrang Quidditch player perhaps? Or Potter? Or maybe it's Weasley you're sweet on?"

Hermione blushed and she shoved him away from her. Malfoy laughed.

"They aren't my type at all." She replied calmly.

"I need someone I can connect with on an intellectual level. Someone kind and generous and just. Someone handsome but not vain enough to admit they are. In short someone entirely unlike you." She said with a smirk.

Malfoy froze for a second.

Younger Hermione you are a fucking idiot for saying something like that. He's in love with you you prat screamed Hermione internally!

He quickly recovered and clutched his chest with his hands.

"Ow Granger that hurt." He said teasingly.

She rolled her eyes.

"Since when do we talk like this anyway?" She asked.

Malfoy shrugged.

"Since now. You're not so bad when you're on your own without those two. You think you could show me your patronus again? I can never get it to go beyond shield form."

Hermione sighed but blushed slightly from his backhanded compliment.

"Thanks I guess. Sure."

She cast her patronus and watched Draco following her silver otter as it scurried between their feet.

Hermione felt like an intruder on this memory. A memory that she was a part of. She watched from the back corner. It was going to happen soon. She put her head in her hands she couldn't watch.

"If you can make a shield it's only a matter of time before yours takes a form. Cold blooded rattlesnake probably." She muttered.

She clamped her hand over her mouth.

Malfoy laughed.

"That wasn't bad Granger. You're in a mean mood tonight or is it just with me?" He asked.

"Just you." She blurted out.

"Thought so." He said.

"Malfoy I'm sorry-"

"Why? You called me a rattlesnake, hardly on par with what I've called you in the past."

Hermione nodded.

"Still. Don't you have somewhere better to be Malfoy? I don't think your father and your little Slytherin cronies would approve of your choice of conversationalist." She said tersely.

"No. Probably not. Doubt Potter or Weasley would approve of your choice either."

They sat in silence just watching Hermione's Patronus for a few moments.

"So you heading home for the holidays then?" Asked Malfoy.

Hermione glared at him like he had two heads.

"Malfoy…are we really doing this small talk thing? Why are you being so –nice?"

Malfoy shrugged and sighed.

"You're impossible Granger. You hate me when I say mean things and treat you three badly. Then I try to be nice and you still hate me."

"I don't _hate_ you as such. You're not so bad now. We aren't kids anymore. Looking back on it you haven't called me a name since that day." She said softly deep in thought.

"Oh you mean the day you broke my nose and my pride?" He replied sarcastically.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

Malfoy jumped suddenly and desperately attempted to put his hand down the back of his shirt.

Hermione frowned.

"Granger did you just put a spider down my back?" He asked.

Hermione laughed.

"No. I'm quite above immature playground games Malfoy."

"No seriously. Can you check? There's something on my neck I think." He said agitatedly.

Hermione hesitated and then gasped. Her eyes followed the long branch of the mistletoe tendril all the way to the ceiling above them. The white berries glowed above their heads. She blushed fiercely as she realised a branch was snagged in her own hair. Only a kiss would free them now.

"Granger you're freaking me out. Is it a really big spider?" He asked with a waver in his voice.

She cringed.

"Worse. Much worse. Look up." She said quietly.

Draco sighed in relief.

"Christ Granger you had me worried there. It's just some mistletoe."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"You do realise it's trapped us and the only way to be free is to-to-" She flushed a deep shade of pink.

Malfoy smirked.

"To kiss you. Don't be such a prude Granger. I may be no Viktor Krum but Pansy never complains."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"How are you so cool about this? Isn't a pure blood kissing someone like me forbidden or something?" She asked her voice shaky and high pitched.

Malfoy shrugged.

"It's only a kiss. And it's Christmas. Close your eyes." He said.

Hermione scrunched her eyes closed.

Oh God Oh God this was happening. Hermione watched the memory in horror. She could still remember those nervous butterflies and racing heartbeat. She had them all over again just from watching.

"Wow Granger, could you at least make it look like I haven't used the cruciatus curse on you."

Hermione relaxed slightly and Malfoy waited.

"Malfoy what are you doing?" She asked nervously.

Hermione looked through her fingers. He was just looking at her. She felt awful. This 'meaningless' kiss had meant so much to him and she was acting like she hated it. She was a horrible person. She knew what he was doing now. He was memorising her face like that so he wouldn't forget. You idiot Hermione. You prize idiot. She watched him gently tuck a brown curl behind her ear. He was being so slow and gentle. It all made sense now. If only he'd told her then what she knew now.

He kissed her. Hermione expected his lips to be cold to feel disgusted by his touch. For him to be rough and unforgiving. She was wrong. His lips were warm and soft. His touch was so gentle like moth wings. She felt his fingers gently caress her cheek and push her hair back. He was being so careful. It was tender and sweet not like the almost violent tongue kisses she'd had from Krum. It wasn't bad kissing him. Not at all. It was pleasant actually. He smelled nice and it felt nice. She found herself wondering what would happen if she applied more pressure and slipped her tongue between his lips. Hermione Granger! What are you thinking?

Malfoy's heart was racing. He was finally kissing her. It felt even better than he'd imagined. It was an innocent kiss but it already made all his other kisses he'd shared with Pansy pale in comparison. He gasped as he felt her tongue run against his bottom lip. No he had to have imagined that. He felt her tongue again and he shivered. What was she doing? He opened his mouth for her and he let their tongues mingle together. The kiss became more passionate and Malfoy was more than happy to let Granger take the reigns. If this was a dream he didn't ever want to wake up.

Hermione's hands were raking through that soft, white blonde hair of his she'd despised for so long. Their mouths and tongues moved in unison. They languorously explored each other's mouths. His arms pulled her close and her hands came to rest on his firm chest. His heart was thundering beneath her palms. She was doing this. It felt so good kissing him. Her whole body was tingling. His kiss had ignited a hunger in her that had never been sparked before. It was gentle but passionate. The perfect kiss. She felt Malfoy moan quietly into her mouth. The sound of his pleasure sent a thrill through her. No. NO! No! Stop! Hermione it's Malfoy you idiot. This does not feel good! Your body is just lying to your brain that's all. She pulled back quickly. Malfoy opened his eyes slowly. They were hazy and darkened with lust. His hair was messy from her fingers. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were kiss bruised. She pushed him away and ran into the night.

Hermione shook her head. If she'd stayed. If she hadn't been so afraid of her own blossoming feelings what could have been? It was too late now.

She watched guiltily as Draco groaned and leant back on the desk. He covered his face with his hands.

"Do you have any idea how cruel you are to me Hermione?" He whispered.

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat. No. she hadn't. Until now.

The memory dissolved. Draco looked ill now a shadow of the handsome young man he had been only a year ago. Pale, tired and drawn. This was a memory from only last year. They were in Snape's office again.

"Draco-"

"I know I know. I can do it all right!"

Draco's hands were shaking.

"It is a great honour-"

"A great honour?! Then why doesn't he do this himself?! I'm tired of being used." He said weakly.

"Potter knows. Weasley suspects and Granger is too good and too logical to think it possible."

He said with a tight smile as he rubbed his forearm self consciously.

Snape softened.

"Do you still love her?" He asked.

Malfoy was taken aback by his sudden and personal question.

"I never said I loved her." He replied.

Snape raised a brow.

"Do not take me for a fool Draco."

Malfoy winced and sighed.

"It doesn't matter. She won't ever want me after I do this. And with this thing on my arm. It's too late now. It's better this way."

She watched as Malfoy left and went to sit in the room of requirement. Hermione's heart couldn't take much more of this. She watched as he took his jacket off and pushed his shirt sleeve up. She tensed and gasped even though she already knew what was there. He grimaced at the mark and proceeded to close his eyes and breathe deeply. He opened his eyes and she watched him making a patronus charm. Her eyes widened as a playful, little silvery otter weaved between the ancient piles of forgotten items.

"Well Granger. Not a rattlesnake after all." He said with a sad smile. He was crying.

Please no more she pleaded. She was back at Malfoy manner. She shivered at the memory. Draco was lying on the floor. Bellatrix and Voldermort stood over him. He was writhing on the floor screaming in pain.

"Stop it!" She screamed helplessly.

"Oh Draco my boy. Your mind is truly full of that filthy little mudblood." Sneered voldemort.

Bellatrix laughed and gagged.

"Poor little Draco must've been more hard up than we thought to consider slipping between her legs." She said as she wrinkled her nose.

She watched as Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy looked on in horror.

"It isn't true my Lord!" Said Lucius desperately.

"Let's see shall we?" He said as he forced his way into Draco's mind. Draco was in agony and Hermione could only look between her fingers. He was using Occlumency. He would see all those private little thoughts.

Voldemort laughed bitterly.

"Honestly Draco writing her poetry and kissing her beneath the mistletoe. Pathetically sickening. You bring shame to your family and me. You do not deserve that mark on your arm."

"Let's turn it into something a little more…fitting." Said Bellatrix as her wand began to carve into his skin.

Hermione closed her eyes and covered her ears until the screaming stopped. She was crying hard.

"Anything you want to say Draco to the dark Lord. Choose your words carefully and he will spare you." Said Bellatrix as she leant back admiring her handiwork.

Malfoy leant up slightly struggling to catch his breath.

"I won't apologise. I love Hermione Granger and I'm not afraid anymore. Not even of you father. Or you." He said staring pointedly at Voldemort with a steady, defiant glare. He smiled. His teeth were covered in blood but it was the happiest she'd ever seen him.

The memory began to dissolve for the last time and Hermione was brought back to the headmaster's study. Her eyes were burning with tears. She wiped them away. He did everything for you and you didn't even pay him enough attention to notice. She searched the room desperately. Malfoy was gone. Her body began to move of its own accord. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her as she rummaged in her bag. She opened The Tales of Beedle the Bard and pulled open the crumpled, well creased piece of paper with his poem on it. She held it tightly in her hand as she ran outside. Harry, Ron and Ginny were still there but no Malfoy. Please, please be here she pleaded.

She ran to them breathlessly.

"Where's Malfoy?" She asked.

They all shook their heads.

"I think he went over by the bridge. Hermione are you ok?" Asked Harry.

She nodded then shook her head.

"I don't-I'm not sure. I need to find him." She scanned the horizon hopefully.

She saw him over next to what was left of the bridge. He was sitting on the raised wall looking out across the water. His legs dangling over the side. She ran over to him not speaking another word to Harry, Ron and Ginny.

"Well that was weird." Said Ron.

Malfoy turned at the sound of her footsteps and heavy breathing.

"Why- didn't you stay?" She asked breathlessly.

Malfoy ran a hand through his hair his cheeks tinting pink.

"I think you know why. Look let's not make this anymore embarrassing than it has to be. We'll just pretend this whole thing didn't happen. It's better that way Granger." He said as he threw a loose pebble into the abyss below.

He swung around and made to stand but Hermione blocked him.

"No. Why didn't you tell me Draco?" She said as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

His eyes shot up to hers at the use of his first name. He hesitated for a moment then smiled bitterly.

"As if you would've believed me. You would have thought I was taking the piss maybe even trying to trick you somehow. Potter would have hexed me and Weasley would have killed me for thinking it was some kind of plot to get into your pants. Don't deny it. You know that's what would have happened."

Hermione hesitated for a moment then nodded. He was right.

"We could have tried. That night, we kissed…I thought about that a lot you know." She whispered.

Malfoy frowned and his blush deepened.

"You did? But you were the one that ran away. And you never spoke about it. I thought it was because you were ashamed of kissing me." He said as his long, pale fingers fidgeted at his sides.

Hermione shook her head and struggled with what to say.

"Look G-Hermione it doesn't matter. I'll get over this you know. I'd do anything for you. I'll even stop loving you if you ask me to."

Hermione exhaled shakily. Her emotions were swirling within her. She wasn't sure if she loved him, at least not yet. But she wanted to find out.

"It does matter. I wasn't ashamed I was scared of the way you made me feel. No one made me feel like that before. Or since. Those feelings you've had for me for so long you can't just switch them off. And I wouldn't want you to. I don't want you to throw that love away. I didn't throw your feelings away. I cherished them. Look."

Hermione unfolded the old faded piece of parchment with Draco's neat, looped scrawl upon it. Hermione didn't think it was possible for Draco's pale face to get so red. She smiled.

"You kept that all this time? Why? It isn't even very good-"

"Yes it is. Modesty doesn't suit you you know. I kept this because this is the most wonderful thing anyone has ever given me. And now I know that the words were written by you it means even more. I just would never have expected someone like you to like me."

"Someone like me?" He asked defensively.

Hermione sighed.

"Don't get so defensive. I just meant. In school you were handsome, popular and if the rumours were true a bit of a playboy. You could have had anyone so why me? I'm nothing special." She said quietly.

"Nothing special? When are you going to get it? You're smart, beautiful, brave, kind and you just saved the world. They were all rumours you know. Pansy was jealous because she knew there was never anyone in my cold, black heart but you. I could have had anyone except the person I really wanted to be with." He said as he stood up and brushed Hermione's hair back from her face.

Hermione blushed at his words and the touch of his gentle hands.

"If I hadn't been so afraid about the way I felt about you and hadn't done a runner after that kiss. We could've been together. And then maybe-"

Malfoy tilted her face upwards so she was gazing into his grey eyes and he into her warm brown ones.

"We'll never know. It's in the past. We can only go forward from here. Hermione-if I kissed you now would you run away?"

Hermione blushed and shook her head as his fingers brushed her lips.

"No." She whispered.

"I'm poor. Have no prospects. Have a bunch of arseholes for family. Was a complete dick in school. Have this disgusting thing on my arm. I have absolutely nothing to offer you. I've did terrible things – But you've made some semblance of a man out of me Hermione. You taught me how to be decent. And if for some reason you go temporarily insane and want me. I'll be here."

Hermione flushed.

"The only thing I could want you've already given me. It doesn't matter now. I'm not afraid anymore. You showed me how to be brave." Hermione whispered before she let her lips meet his.

Draco Malfoy felt Hermione's hands splay over his beating heart. It beat for her. He let his fingers tangle in her hair. They kissed without holding back. They'd laid everything out on the table. Malfoy deepened the kiss and he felt her sigh happily into his mouth. She let herself relax against his body. This was right. Out of all the wrongs that had been committed last night. This had at least partly set the world to right. There was hunger, uncertainty and hope in that kiss. They were both free now. Free to live and love who they wished. Hermione pulled him closer telling him wordlessly that she wouldn't run away from this ever again.

Ron clenched his fists.

"That slimy git I'll-"

"Ron! Don't! She's not exactly resisting is she?" Said Ginny holding him back.

Harry wrinkled his nose. It was odd watching them kiss. But also not odd at all. Their slim bodies fitted together well. They'd both been keeping secrets from one another and themselves it seemed. He smiled as he pulled Ginny close as Ron made gagging noises. Love was the only thing that could conquer darkness. The love Malfoy had for Hermione was what saved his soul. Of that he had no doubt.


	4. You and I

**AN:** This is the end of my little story. Hope you enjoyed reading. Warning! This gets a little lemony. I'm listening to London Grammar – Rooting For You.

 **Epilogue.**

 **Chapter 4 – Only You and I.**

He and Hermione had been taking things slowly. But they still hadn't manages to spend a single day apart since the battle. Ron and Harry had grown to tolerate him and he had grown to tolerate them. He even had recently admitted to flat out liking Ginny. In a few months Hermione would be going back to Hogwarts and he still wasn't sure what he wanted yet, besides Hermione.

His mother had given him the use of their holiday cottage in Devon, unbeknownst to his father who still would not speak to him, and he'd spent the entire summer there with Hermione. Harry and Ron or Harry and Ginny had dropped by or sometimes they went to them. But most of the time they'd spent making up for lost time. Walking along the beach hand in hand, skinny dipping in the moonlight, reading books by the fire with that blasted orange furball Crookshanks between them. He'd never dared to imagine that being with Hermione like this could be even better than he'd dreamed. She was perfect. And this perfect summer had been there's alone.

Hermione was writhing beneath him on his bed. He would never tire of her. Not when he'd waited so long to be with her. He never rushed with her no matter how much restraint it took him. He wanted to savour every moment he had with her because each moment was one more than he thought he'd ever get. He hissed as her silky thighs brushed against his hip bones. Her fingernails raked against his scalp. Her heated kiss was searing against his lips. Their tongues battled for dominance. He always let her win. He didn't care. He always wanted her to win. He had been completely at her mercy since the beginning. She groaned into his mouth as his thumb grazed her hardened nipple.

"Draco please." She whispered huskily in his ear.

Her voice sounded so desperate so weak. She only ever let herself sound that way with him. He shuddered attempting to regain control despite the pleasure coursing through his veins at the sound of his name issuing from her kiss bruised lips.

He thrust into her and was welcomed into her heat. He groaned as she wriggled her hips beneath him. He never thought sex could feel like this. So intense, so wonderful. He knew it only felt like this because of her and because it wasn't just sex. Hermione's lips littered his adam's apple with soft, wet kisses. He exhaled shakily as he attempted to keep his rhythm slow and steady. But she made it so very difficult to keep controlled she always had.

She moaned breathlessly against his earlobe. Her teeth tugged on his earlobe. Her moans urged him on and he didn't relent until he heard her cry out his name and her release urged him towards his own.

He watched Hermione unravel beneath him. Her hair fanned across the pillows, her cheeks flushed, her lips rosy red and full from kissing. Her perfect, lightly freckled body shuddered beneath his own. Their satisfied bodies loosened against one another. Her eyelashes flickered and he brought his sweaty forehead to hers. She kissed him lazily her fingers trailing patterns against his spine. They parted gently and he felt Hermione curl into the side of his body as he lay on the back. He pulled her close as they let their breathing return to normal and felt the sweat cooling on their skin.

He gently traced patterns on her upper arm as she lay splayed against his chest. He didn't think it would be possible to love her any more than he already did. But each day she put a little more love in his heart. He kissed her forehead as he felt her breathing even out.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered.

Draco froze. His heart thumped in his chest. Had she really said that?

They'd been taking things slowly and they'd slept together a lot. But she'd never said those three little words before. He hadn't cared. The fact she was still by his side after everything. Choosing to be with him. Choosing to share her time with him was all he needed.

"Hermione?" He whispered shakily.

"Hmmmm." She answered sleepily.

"Did you just tell me you loved me?" He asked softly.

Hermione laughed softly against his chest.

"Yes."

Draco shifted onto his side so he could look at her. His eyes were wide. Hermione Granger was in love. With him.

"You've never said that before." He said huskily.

Hermione smiled at his expression and touched his cheek gently with her palm.

"No. But I've thought it for a while."

He leant into her touch and pulled her close. He buried his face in the crook of her neck. He kissed her collarbone softly feeling her shiver.

"Why do you love me?" He whispered.

"Because of everything that you hate about yourself. Every single imperfection makes you who you are. And I love who you are. " She said as she gently brushed their scarred forearms against one another's.

Draco felt a lump form in his throat at her gentlesness. Her love was surrounding him and filling him with what he had been starved of his entire life. No one had ever loved him besides her, not truly. And he had never and would never love anyone except her.

"You're too good for me." He murmured against her throat.

Hermione grinned.

"I know."

Draco pulled back from her and rolled his eyes. But he laughed breathily. She was the most beautiful woman inside and out and she had chosen to give her love away to someone like him.

He pulled her close and placed feather light kisses all over her face from her brow bone to the corner of her mouth. He heard her breath hitch.

"Can you say it again?" He asked.

Hermione smiled as his hands began to wander against the curves of her ribcage.

"Draco Malfoy I love you!" She shouted as her voice echoed off the walls.

Draco laughed huskily a boyish pink blush on his cheeks. He clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Shhhh. As lovely as hearing you shout that is. Did you forget Harry and Ginny were staying? I think you woke up half of Devon."

Hermione blushed bright pink with embarrassment but it was soon forgotten as he kissed away all of her coherent thoughts. He kissed her with renewed vigour. She loved him back. After all this time. Love is stronger than hate. No matter what came their way their love was strong enough to withstand it.


End file.
